the end

THe end of a chapter has come. My daughter went to residential treatment on Thursday. She is living 4 hours away now. I will be going up for thier Thanksgiving Dinner Party.

The house she is in is pretty nice. They did an awesome job of welcoming her. Banners. Welcome signs. A teddy bear, two beanie babies, etc.

My house is quiet now.

a new chapter take two

I posted this once and it didn't post, so if it duplicates I'm sorry.

Basically I said in my new chapter I need to regain my health. There are other things I would like to focus on like hating my job and wanting a relationship, but my health has to be number one.

I had explained how I was a junior in high school when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was an athlete who had earned a varsity letter in cross country, a jv letter in basketball and was on the track team. I had just bought my first pair of size zero jeans when I got pregnant.

I used being pregnant as an excuse to eat and not to exercize. I ended up with gestational diabetes and gained 53 lbs. Within 6 weeks of having my daughter I had lost all but 8 pounds.

Over the first 5 years of my daughters life she was very ill with transient hypogammaglobulinemia of infancy. It is a non-genetic autoimmune disorder where the immune system has delayed development leading to frequent and severe illnesses.

During those first five years, I gained back the 50 pounds I had lost. When you look back my daughter had frequent chronic bronchitis, reactive airway disease, ear infections, throat infections, pneumonia's, ecezma, allergies, etc. She nearly died from Heamophillius wich at that time you didn't get vacinated for until 18 months. She then knocked on deaths door 2 months later when she had Rotta Virus and was 7 % dehydrated by the time she was admitted to the hospital. She had 3 ear surgeries and a sinus surgery. She broke her arm on the monkey bars and ended up with stitches when she fell after jumping on the bed. (both at the babysitters)

So you can see it was a very stressful time that was spent doing a lot of running between doctors and eating a lot of hospital food.

She had one year that she was really healthy.

Then when she was 6 her mental health issues started to erupt. In the past 8 or 9 years she has had 21 acute psychiatric hospitalizations, multiple ER visits due to injuries, one hospitalization for pneumonia with fevers of 105.9, and 39 months of residential treatment.

So we are still spending a lot of time in ER's, Hospitals, and when in Residential we spend a lot of time driving to visits. This amounts to hospital food and fast food.

The result has been another 75 pounds.

We all know that stress and emotional eating lead to weight gain. As you can guess there hasn't been time for much exercize.

It is common knowledge that to lose weight you eat less and exercize more. So the weight gain is of no real surprize.

My lifestyle changes and stress level have played a major roll in what has happened to my health.

So today I am embarking on change. Diet changes, activity changes, lifestyle changes.

I deserve to be happy, healthy, and thin.

I don't expect to be a size zero ever again. I do however expect to not be morbidly obese.

My goal is a marathon within the next year.

At present I am 3 inches rounder then I am tall. I am not going to post all my stats as they are personal. However, I will say I weighed in at 242.2 with a bmi of 47.7, and 51/7% body fat. These are enough to show that the battle will be long and hard.

I would love your support and encouragement. I would love to hear success stories.

I will not toerlerate hate or hurtful posts, anything of that nature will be deleted.

Wish me luck!