life in general

just a update on life in general....

Life has been busy busy busy.

Holly is finally back on track. History is 6 bad weeks followed by 6 good weeks. SO I am going to enjoy them while they last. I plan to go visit her next week and if she is still stable, she is going to get to stay the night at a hotel with me. She is trying hard. She has become a vegetarian of her own free will. They had to take away 4-H and the barn from her which was quite traumatic. Her safety needs made it not an option. Now they don't plan to let her go back to 4-H because of her emotional needs and the reality that the animals get auctioned off usually to slaughter houses after the fairs. They decided she needs an animal program that is different. So, they have her researching ASPCA and some other groups that rescue animals rather then use them for agricultural purposes.

The pets are great. Maximus (tree cooning walker hound) is getting fat though and not phat. Sammy Sosa (yorkshire terrier) is still yappy. Angel (black cat) still thinks she is going to escape when the dogs go out to go potty. The two male beta fish are still a swimming. So far so good... All animals are alive and accounted for. I did take Maximus and Sammy Sosa to the dog park yesterday when there was a break in the rain. We were the only ones there so the boys got to run freely.

I am being nice to myself about the diet. I am trying hard. I am working hard. I am giving myself credit. I use Weight Commander, Weight Watchers, and Dots Weight Loss Zone for my goals, tracking, menu planning etc. I use a club 100 and At Home Weight Watchers yahoo groups and the weight watchers message boards as my support network.

One of my goals is to become an expert at pool care and equipment. I pulled out all my training books again and am making flash cards to review when I have free time. What I am learning is, I know most of this now! I just didn't realize how much I learned. I simply need to build my confidence in my knowledge of the products and equipment.

Another one of my goals has been to get out of debt. On Feb 4, I got my tax return and earned income credit. I paid off all my current credit cards and my student loan. I had to recharge some though... I used all I had and then had two big blows my pc died and I had to buy a new one... and the check engine light came on in my car ... the same day I got a flat tire that couldn't be repaired. Anyways the student loan is paid in full! The credit cards will be paid off completely again around the 4th. The only things that remain on the credit report are ancient medical bills of Hollys.

So what are my other goals for the year?

1) Relationships: I don't know why I am not making an effort. I guess I want to really love myself first. I know I have to really love me before I can love someone else. I am also concerned about loosing weight while in a new relationship. One gentelman that I liked, recently made it clear to me that he only likes supersized bbw's. SO what would happen if I found someone who liked big girls and I lost the weight? would they still want me? I am thinking getting myself to meet my other goals first is the way to go!

2) Improve relationships with mom, dad, sister, daughter: I guess I am working on this. I am making efforts to be kind to each of them. To not use them. To not take them for granted. To make sure they know I love them. Yet I think this will be a work in progress for sometime to come.

3) Cultural history: I am trying to learn about portugal and portuguese. My daugther often states she is portuguese. (she is 1/4) Yet we know little if anything about the people. So I am trying to learn so I can teach her. I borrowed books from the library. We spent one visit reading Portuguese fables and stories. I have a cook book and a couple of books on customs and history to look through.

4) My spiritual goals... I don't know why I am making no effort. I haven't been reading my bible. I haven't been going to chruch. I haven't really been praying. I haven't been tithing, etc. I am in a rut. I need to get my buns in gear so I can feel better spiritually.

joined weight watchers online again

I rejoined weight watchers on-line. Apparently in May of 2003 I was 28 lbs less then I am now... all the more reason I have to get serrious...

so here is today's scoop
kcal 1430
pro 59
fat 58.5
saturated fat 21
cholesterol 135
carbohydrates 161
sugar 65
fiber 10
sodium 3060
caffiene 55
water 44 oz
points 31.5

could be better could be worse

Loving ME

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Being alone on Valentines sucks... so I decided that I was going to love myself this year!

I wished every person who came into where I work a Happy Valentines Day, as a result almost all of them wished me the same in return.

I talked to everyone in my family. My mom and dad are off to Reno... the blessings of cell-phones. My sister lives 2 hours away. My daughter's facility is 4 hours away.... so I made sure that even though they were far away, I made contact with all of them.

Tonight, when I got home from work, I was sore... so, instead of going on-line, I went out to our apartment's hot tub. I relaxed in the hot tub and let the jets take care of all my aches and pains.

I loved my body by having fish for dinner tongiht.

And I loved myself some more by wearing one of my nighties. I usually just crash in a t-shirt and shorts... but today, I dressed up to go to bed.

Michelle Dorman.... I love you!!!